Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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