just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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