I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
babies were throwing up all over the place
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
