She's JV to your varsity
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
