thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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