Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Soap is not a condiment
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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