just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
