i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
