I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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