Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
