there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
