I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
