I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
