let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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