No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
