My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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