Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
