1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
