yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He kissed a someone with a penis
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
