I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
