His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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