Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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