Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
