I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
