I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
