He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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