4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
