anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
