TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
