whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
