I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
