so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
