Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
