I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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