there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
