I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
