I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
