i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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