she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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