If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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