you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
