I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
