The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
