The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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