We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
