I want to make a zoo with you.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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