We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
