Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
