Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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