I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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