I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
